What a glorious day it is today.
I got my work sewing done and headed outside about 11 for a coffee and as I sat there I thought I should be doing this and this then I realised what I should be doing is sitting there enjoying the glorious day and maybe catching up on some hand sewing. So I finished a dresden plate block that I have had sitting there for ages. This and three other handpieced blocks are destined to be the new cushions for our bed.
I really enjoy handpiecing but I have this mindset that unless I am sitting in my sewing room with the machine humming that I am somehow wasting time.
Attack of the guilts:
In fact I feel guilty quite a lot, I feel guilty if I have enjoyed a day in the garden, or if I have achieved nothing more than finishing the washing and folding and ironing for the day. Some days I am great about it but other days - because I enjoy being at home so so much I feel like I should be being more productive.
Today it is probably mostly hormonal I get this tight fluttry feeling in my chest and I think I am wasting time I should be........................
So my question is: does anyone else feel like this from time to time, like when you work really hard one day and catch up with everything then the next day you play in the sewing room or the garden - do you find yourself thinking that is enough of a treat now it is time to get back to work??
Or do you justify why you are at home instead of in paid employment or why you work part time instead of full time.
I know in my heart and my head that my 7 children wouldn't be the people they are without having had me here every afternoon when they get home from school.
I know I don't need to justify my decision to not take part in the plasma tv, new car every two years, overseas trip every year ratrace. I know that making my own soap, laundry liquid (thanks Rhonda) , cooking form scratch, expanding the vegetable garden, mending, making do and creating are all the right way for me to live it makes me really happy - but then there is that nagging guilt that perhaps I shouldn't be enjoying my life so much.
Anyway would love to hear what you think, how you justify whether you justify and whether you feel guilty sometimes too.
Our Other Boys:
Thought I would introduce you to the two ratbag boys in our lives - they haven't mean bone in their body and probably not too many brains either but they are fun and they are ours so meet
daisydog buddy and daisydog dufus (not his real name just the one he responds to!!)
daisymum
4 comments:
If it is really bad I think about the people who supposedly drink and gamble or who are very unhappy and think that my family don't have to put up with that. Have you seen that little graphic that says, I am up and dressed what more do you want kind of thing.
I think with a large family we struggle with this more, what do you think?
I think if you can enjoy the garden, that is good in itself.
My chest plays up too, I wonder if it is the same kind of thing.
And the after school thing, is quite a few hours of work. Although we may not have to do anything, some others may not want to be doing it, so maybe it is some kind of work.
I hope I don't sound too negative, I too have felt a little like I haven't done much today, and it is a nice day.
Thanks Linda it is nice to know that I am not the only one who feels like this.
Years ago when people would ask me how I was I would say "upright and breathing" - and that about summed it up.
It isn't that I haven't done much it is just I feel so guilty about sitting around doing something I love after I have done everything else. Like I feel guilty about being absurdly happy.
but you are right if that is all I have to worry about things are pretty good hey??
daisymum
I totally understand everthing you said so much so, I could have written that post, but I'm glad you did as it lifted me.
Caroline
Hi Daisymum I too feel guilty if I don't have a productive day. I talk myself out of it by mentally adding up the hours I do spend working and realise I do split shifts, I am doing an early morning shift , a middle of the day shift and an evening shift. I am entitled to long breaks in between, if I was doing split shifts in paid employment (the worst kind) I would get several hours break too..;-)Regards Julia PS I have become a regular reader, thank you for your blog..
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